I noticed the other day, when writing music with a buddy of mine, that I count myself out a lot. When I do something that is awesome, I tend to use negative qualifiers that downplay what I am truly capable of.
In my own way
The phrase that I used during our session was, “there is no way I could’ve written in this style.” My buddy reminded me that I had in fact written in the style, that my voice sounds great on the track, it’s a great song, and that I am in fact capable.
Why am I able to give people this level of grace, but when it comes to my own songs I attack them with surgical precision. I want to say that this is normal to do, but it’s not! It’s not normal to stop yourself before you even get started.
This type of thinking will do us in, in the words of one of my favorite bands, Chevelle.
Seeking validation
I’ve noticed a lot of time that when we doubt ourselves and question or abilities, we’re actually seeking validation. We want people to pat us on the back and tell us we’re doing a good job. That’s not helpful.
What I’ve been trying to be more present on is being confident in the moment, and then afterwards asking for feedback for anything that I was unsure of. I’ve noticed the less confident you are in the moment the less likely people trust that you know what you’re talking about. You can’t state something but it has the voice inflection of posing a question. That makes your audience just as unsure as you are.
Creative confidence
For me, in music, this shows up as not waiting until a song has been mixed and mastered to wish it’d been different. I am more present in the studio and I say things like “I’m not feeling that” or “that’s not the direction I was trying to go”. Ultimately, the team that I’m working with is there to help shape my raw vision, but I also have a duty to speak up when the project strays too far.
I think this has been the 🔑 for the new projects coming out. I record them in a vacuum, fall in love with them, and then release them to the wild to let the songs do what they do.